By: Cris Corzine-McCloskey
Today I am going to get up in your business. How is your marriage going? Is it full of turmoil, strife, and nitpicking? Maybe it’s time to ask yourself if you are going through life carrying a magnifying glass or a mirror.
Luckily, this is an easy check. Do you think you do things better than your spouse? And if so, do you like to editorialize about their inefficiencies? Does your spouse accuse you of being critical? Do you tell them how to do everyday tasks without being asked for your opinion? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, odds are you have a magnifying glass.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news; you are not fun to be married to if you have a magnifying glass on your spouse and editorializing about their “flaws.”. If your criticisms are loud, relentless, or peppered with obscenities, you are verbally abusive. You also suffer from plank-in-eye syndrome.
Jesus told us in Matthew 7:3-5, “why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’, and look, a plank in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
The plank in our own eye is our self-righteousness. When we are self-righteous, we are critical, opinionated, and secretly believe we are better than others. Sometimes those are hard traits to see in ourselves. If you are in doubt, ask your spouse, they will be able to tell you.
God offers us a cure to plank-in-eye syndrome. It is a special mirror. 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us about the miracle mirror. “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.”
While that may seem confusing, it is quite simple. What God wants us to look at is Jesus. He does not want us concerned about the faults of others; He wants us consumed with Jesus. How loving and full of grace He is. As you observe Him and His traits, we are miraculously transformed, and become more like Him. If changed into His image, you are a dream spouse. Jesus’ traits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. Aka, the Fruit of the Spirit.
Take it from me, your friendly neighborhood Christian counselor, if you see yourself reflected in this article, go make amends to your spouse. Set down your magnifying glass, and pick up your mirror. You will be happier, and a lot more pleasant to be around.