By: Cris Corzine-McCloskey
I felt like a superhero yesterday. No bullets bounced off my bracelets, but I fearlessly embraced a significant, undesired change. I squared my chin and told my Father in Heaven, “bring the change.” He did. Much to my surprise, I did not spontaneously combust.
I have always craved stability. Dad was an alcoholic, so peace in my home was as infrequent and short-lived as his bouts with sobriety. I remember those moments of stability being tenuous, as we waited for the other shoe to fall. The other shoe always fell. Then I became the unstable addict. I lived in self-created chaos. It was awful.
When Jesus found me, He rescued me from myself. He settled my life down, and I became stable. Evidently, I liked it enough to become a control freak. I quake at anything that threatens unwanted change. Stability has become my idol.
An idol is anything we put above God. I have craved stability more than the will of God. And when I did try to say yes to God’s leading, if it involved change, I felt He was handing me a blindfold and a cigarette. That is not trusting in a loving Father. That is fear wrapped in obedience. It’s an improvement, but still not what He is looking for.
When I embraced change instead of fear, I had a fleeting moment of clarity. Jesus said, “My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives.” He gave us a different kind of peace than what we are used to. We equate money in the bank and status quo as peace. That is not peace. But that is what I have craved. A nice retirement fund, no surprises in anyone’s health or employment. Only good news allowed in my zone or my house-of-cards would come crashing down.
Jesus’ never once attempted to create a safe, peaceful environment for Himself or His followers. He carried a Kingdom of peace internally, so He didn’t need it externally. He was utterly fearless and unflappable. He slept through storms. I feel that should be in all caps; HE SLEPT THROUGH STORMS. The “storm speaker” was also the storm sleeper. That is stability!
Yesterday I tasted that kind of stability. I’m a little shakier today, but there is no going backward. I have now felt real peace. The kind Jesus gave me. It was a moment of trusting God’s will, His love for me, and knowing He had my back. I have seen the light, and it revealed how puny the false god of environmentally created stability really is. If you are still holding on to your house-of-cards, don’t feel bad. This has been a long journey for me, and next week I’m going to show you God’s roadmap for that journey.