by: Cris Corzine-McCloskey
Last week we discussed the passage from Proverbs 4:23 where God encourages us to guard our hearts, because virtually everything we do is affected by it’s condition. For example, if my heart is full of resentment and offense, I will filter everything that is said and done around me through that lens of resentment. The result of that is a life of being offended by everyone around me. I know that you know people like that. People that are so sensitive they take everything to heart and get their feelings hurt. That is because they have not guarded their heart against unforgiveness and bitterness, and now it is a way of life.
I don’t know about you, but that is not the way I want to live my life. We only get one shot at this thing, and it is a miserable journey to constantly be nursing hurts and offenses. However, as Kris Vallotton points out, “happiness isn’t an accident, it’s the result of rejoicing.” That, my friends, sounds like a guarded heart led to the thing that will bring it joy. It is literally impossible to simultaneously rejoice while being full of venom. The two don’t co-exist. Yet, while most would agree that they want a life full of rejoicing, they don’t know how to get there. I believe, as with everything else in life, the answers for that are found at the cross and a sober examination of my own sin.
The Bible tells a story about a sinful woman that washes Jesus’ feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. Jesus tells the outraged religious people that she loves huge because her sins, which were many, had been forgiven. I bet that woman didn’t have a problem guarding her heart against offense after that. She knew who she had been and what Jesus had done for her. That should be our attitude. Indeed, Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:23 that we should forgive the way Christ forgave us. That’s huge!! When I really think of all He’s forgiven me for, who am I to hold anything against someone else. Moreover, if the depth of His forgiveness for you doesn’t wow you, check yourself for self-righteousness, which is particularly stinky to God (Isaiah 65:5).
While that may work for the everyday stuff, I am well aware that the major hurts, like childhood abuse, divorce, infidelity, and other particularly painful things may not be so easy to forgive. That’s when I think we need to look at the cross in a different way. God is not now or was He ever soft on sin. In fact, Romans 6:23 says the wages of sin is death. In other words, God takes what happened to you so serious that He said it deserved the death penalty. But in His love and compassion He and Jesus worked together to put that sin to death in the body of Jesus. The same sacrifice that grants you forgiveness for your sin was given to show you how serious the sin against you was taken. He loves you that much.
One thing I have learned as a counselor is that the people who sinned against us can never atone for their failings in a way that satisfies our soul. They cannot undo what they did. They can’t redeem it, and they certainly cannot restore what was lost. But Jesus can. That’s why it says in Isaiah 61:3 that He will give you beauty for your ashes. However, if you will notice, that is an exchange system. You must be willing to give up the offense and forgive before the healing comes. Then the rejoicing and joy can begin. What a wise Savior we have! He knows we can’t lift our hands upward as long as they are clutching things that will destroy us. Give your battered and bruised heart to Him, pray to forgive, and receive your healing from the cross.
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