by: Cris Corzine-McCloskey

Here we are, at the holiday season again. As a counselor that makes this my busy time, because for many this is anything but ‘the most wonderful time of the year.’ Instead, it’s a time that punctuates how alone they are. However, what truly saddens me is that these are often people who have families, but the family members have written them off as being too toxic, or there has been some feud that no one cares to forgive. Christian people writing people off. Isn’t that the antithesis of our faith?

Before everyone joins in a chorus of, ‘you just don’t know what they did to me,’ I want to assure you I empathize. I did that very thing with my birth father. He was a toxic alcoholic who molested me when I was young. Who wants that in their life?? He died after I became a believer. He died alone and we had never reconciled. He died an alcoholics death with no one left to attend the funeral. A sad end to a sad life. That haunts me to this day, because if I knew then what I know now things would have been different. Now I’ve had nearly a decade of counseling people like my dad. Ruined lives, sitting in the decay of their own choices, alone, with no one left to love them. Jesus would call them ‘the least of these,’ and He felt they were worth dying for.

We often only see value in a person when they are acting right or pleasant to be around. But let them be a little toxic in their behavior, mentally ill, suffering from an addiction, smelly, or emotionally manipulative, and it’s ‘sayanora sucker!’ Granted, these decisions may be made with a heavy heart and the counsel of a boundaries book, but I’m still not convinced it’s the right thing to do. Once they are gone, as I have learned, they are gone, and you can’t call them at Christmas and tell them they matter.

It says in Proverbs 14:12 that there is a way that seems right, but in the end it leads to death. I most often hear that used as an evangelism tool, but it goes deeper than that. When we believe that a person is too far gone to even give a loving phone call to on Christmas, it is the death of a relationship. And the death of an opportunity to show Jesus to someone who desperately needs to be reminded of His mercy, not their mistakes. I promise you this, most lonely people who have been written off are well aware of their failures, what they are not aware of is their worth. The cross is what God used to remove our failures and reveal our worth. If we don’t apply the same grace that we have received to others, then maybe we don’t know God as well as we think we do. After all, ‘anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love’ (1 John 4:8).

Trust me, I didn’t write this to give you a guilt trip about not calling your mom on Christmas. I know this stuff is tough, and at Caring Counseling Ministries we are here to help if you need a discrete place to work out your pain. I wrote this because I know from experience that when that person is gone, there is no going back and giving that call at Christmas, and I don’t want you to live in regret.

As believers we are put on this planet and filled with His Spirit to give a hurting world a glimpse of His love, grace, and mercy. That is what makes our lives worthwhile. Sometimes it’s really easy to give that glimpse to a stranger, but if we only love when it costs us nothing, we never truly live out our faith. We are not here to protect ourselves from others. We are here to love others. So this holiday season, give the greatest gifts of all to those who need it most. The gifts of love, grace and mercy. God bless!

Categories:

Tags:

No responses yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.