by:  Cris Corzine-McCloskey

I am having a hard time with the loss of Dad. Regardless of all the grief counseling I’ve provided over the years, I was not prepared for this. It hurts. There is a child inside me that wants to throw herself on the floor and yell, “Not Fair!” And the adult inside me has to admit this is not what I prayed for.

I believe in healing, and I believe healing is God’s will. Now that I have looked closely at suffering, I am even more convinced.

I understand there is a paradox between believing something is God’s will and experiencing the opposite. But I cannot re-write my theology based on my life experience, because then I’m walking by sight and not by faith. I have to base my theology on what I know about God based on the life of Jesus, because, according to scripture, Jesus is the only “exact representation” of God. Jesus healed the sick and raised the dead as the most significant part of His earthly ministry.

But this made me think about Jesus’ life before He was anointed by the Holy Spirit at age 30 to heal. He lived 30 years on this broken, cursed, disease-ridden planet without the power to change things. He, more than anyone, knew the Father’s heart for healing and wholeness, yet had to live in the brokenness. That had to have been excruciating for Him!

We also know from the Bible that Jesus had an earthly (step) father, named Joseph, was alive when Jesus was 12, but by the time Jesus started His ministry, Joseph was gone. Like me, Jesus lost His earthly Daddy. I’m sure Jesus loved Joseph deeply, so He had to grieve that loss, just like I am. Only He had to do it knowing someday He would have the power to heal, but on that day, He was powerless. How awful! Somehow knowing that has made me feel closer to my Savior than ever before. He truly knows how I feel in this situation.

Not only my situation but all of ours. You don’t get to be 30 years old without having walked through some stuff. He was/is human. The Book of Isaiah called Him “a Man of Sorrows.” I never understood that before now. Now I get it. He had sorrows because He lived surrounded by all the hurt, disease, poverty, and oppression that comes with the package of living on this cursed planet. Only I believe it was worse for Him, because He, more than anyone, understood how much God hates what this world does to us.

Jesus came to this world to “undo the works of the enemy.” What are the works of the enemy? According to Jesus, if it has to do with killing, stealing, or destroying, it’s the works of the enemy. He also came to usher in a way back to the Father, and He went back to Heaven to prepare a place for us. I know Dad is in that place, and I will be with him again, because of Jesus.

I pray you don’t ever let the bad things of this world give you a wrong opinion of God. The effects of living in a cursed world are painful, but God is good. He has to be good, or He wouldn’t have wrapped Himself in the flesh and came and suffered with us. A bad God would have never let Himself feel grief, pain, or powerlessness to rescue you. Remember, the same Jesus who was called a Man of Sorrows, is also known as a Friend of Sinners. He’s here to help you through whatever this awful world has done to you, or whatever you have done to yourself.



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