I am on the final day of a 40-day fast. I’ve been fasting from processed foods, sugar, and junk entertainment. That last one has been the hardest. I had no idea how much time I spent scrolling meaningless trash on my iPhone. And during my fast, my aim has been to binge on Jesus instead of junk. It’s been an enlightening 40 days.
I was inspired by what Jesus said in Matthew 11, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” That was the invitation that started my fast.
I have had a long and well-blogged about struggle with unhealthy addictions. My 25+ years of addiction to drugs included an 11-year battle with Meth addiction that led to an arrest. Upon my arrest, I turned my life over to Jesus and experienced instantaneous and miraculous healing from all my drug and alcohol addictions. 25 years of struggle, gone in an instant. It was astonishing!
Therefore, I expected Jesus to eliminate my unhealthy eating habits similarly. For nearly 18 years, I’ve been waiting for Him to wave His magic wand over me and say, “bibbidi bobbidi boo,” and I would go from craving chips to loving Brussel Sprouts and CrossFit.
Truthfully, I had become salty about the struggle and eventually gave up on Him and started trying everything the world had to offer to curb my addiction to junk. I’ve tried prescription medication, Nutrisystem, Keto, gym memberships; you name it, I’ve probably tried it. None of it had lasting results, just putting me in more bondage. Proving once again that the world can’t solve what the world has caused.
My unhealthy eating has roots that go deep. In my chaotic childhood, where I never knew what kind of freakshow I would experience daily, animals and food were my friends. My biological father’s family all had food addictions, so placating a 6-year-old with a box of Ding-Dong’s and a kitten was their jam. I remember being that little girl, sitting alone with my kitten, marveling at the tinfoil-wrapped treasures in my box of Ding-Dongs. My food addiction roots run as deep as the trauma that planted them.
Last year was the year Jesus taught me to value the process and journey of change. This led me to realize from His invitation in Matthew 11 that He is gentle and humble, so forcing change on me wouldn’t be His way. He wants me to come to Him and allow Him to give me rest. I was finally able to see that the journey of process is part of the package. Not a magic wand, but a lifelong partnership of Him being my source. Not junk food or junk entertainment.
That’s why I started the year off binging Jesus instead of junk. I adopted that mindset after binging The Chosen and realized that focusing on Him is a great way to take my mind off the world’s lures. I’ve tried to give Him my unhealthy cravings, including the obsession with weighing myself. I’ve finally learned that my addiction to junk isn’t a physical problem; it’s a spiritual one. That’s why diets, prescription medications, and CrossFit won’t fix what ails me. I can’t use the flesh to cast out the flesh. I must use my spiritual weapons of warfare to tear down strongholds.
For that reason, I’m going to extend my fast indefinitely. Let me rephrase that; I will continue my Jesus binge and pray, under the power of the Holy Spirit, that binging Jesus becomes a lifestyle and that my spiritual health becomes more important than my physical appearance.
If anyone wants to join me, there are a couple of excellent resources that are transformational and invaluable in this journey. The first one is The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation by Wendy Speake. I can’t say enough good things about that one! And the next is Grace-Filled Plates: Ditch Diets and Find Food Freedom Through God’s Grace by Brandice Lardner. Now, go binge Jesus!
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