This Sunday is Father’s Day, and I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad. He’s been gone now for four years and five months, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t find a new way to miss him. I miss his sense of humor and the comfort I would feel when I told him about things that worried me. There are countless ways that I miss him, but most of all, I miss his wisdom.
Dad came into our lives when I was 10 years old and emotionally scarred from my birth father. He was the anchor God used to secure and stabilize our wounded little family. Dad told me he knew he wanted to marry Mom when he met me and my brother. I still don’t get that because we were not ready to give him a chance, but he wanted to be our dad for some reason.
It took him years to win my heart, but that never bothered him. He just kept loving me and my brother like we were his own. And he sure loved Mom well. He was crazy about her. I finally witnessed how a man should treat a woman. But that was just one of my many lessons from Dad.
The most important thing I learned from him is this: I am worth loving no matter what I do or how bad of a mess I am. He taught me this when I called him from jail after being arrested on Federal meth charges. After he took that collect call from the jail, he told me he loved me, which was exactly what I needed to hear. When I was at my worst, he proudly introduced me to his church friends as his daughter. He didn’t need me to clean up or do something right for him to be proud of me. That has gone a long way in helping me understand how Heavenly Father sees me.
As a baby Christian, he taught me to be confident when I felt I was hearing from God. He told me that when I believe God has told me something, to follow through without concern that I’m getting it wrong. He said even if I get it wrong, God’s heart is delighted by my fledgling attempts at following Him. Dad communicated that if I do what I think God is telling me to do, He will honor it as obedience, even if I get it wrong. That lesson has freed me up from the angst of whether I heard God right. No matter what, God credits it to me as obedience because of my faith.
But best of all, Dad taught me that love never dies. When he knew he was getting ready to be with Jesus, he told me, “I will wait for you on the other side.” I believed him. I still do. Dad never lied to me; his love for me was as unfailing as Heavenly Father’s. I expect him to be first in line in my greeting committee. And, in keeping with the lesson that love never dies, my love for and admiration of him has only grown stronger since his “absence” from my life. But I don’t think he’s absent.
Shortly after Dad died, I was wrecked. I always knew Dad wouldn’t let me fail when he was alive. His absence was terrifying to me for so many reasons. A few months into his loss, he visited me in a dream and told me he would always be around to help me. As previously stated, Dad never lied. I believe he is watching over me in my own personal “great cloud of witnesses” mentioned in the book of Hebrews.
I imagine he talks to Jesus about me whenever he gets a chance. I envision him asking Jesus to help me with this or that and Jesus giving Dad a big grin and saying, “Sure!” I think they fish together and talk about me. I feel Dad and Heavenly Father’s pleasure. Even when I’m getting everything wrong, I still feel their pleasure. That’s because, as you may remember, Dad taught me I am worth loving, no matter what.
So, I say to Papa God thank you for the gift of my dad. And Papa, please give my dad a hug from me and tell him I will see him on the other side because I know you both will be there waiting!
No responses yet